This week marked several significant milestones for my family. My Oldest daughter Emily is finishing up first grade and will soon be a second grader! My daughter Jessica just had a little preschool graduation ceremony yesterday and is now officially a kindergartner. Jessica also lost a tooth this week and my one year old son Joshua just cut a tooth this week and finally slept through the night. My third daughter Mary is three (and she is acting like a typical three year old!) Three is the new two! Funny, her behavior is the one thing I would like to change!
My parents are moving out of state this week and my brother who is 21 will be coming to live with us until he can find an apartment. My friend Danielle just had her fourth baby yesterday, she has three boys and now a beautiful baby girl. As of 12:30pm tomorrow afternoon I will be a full fledged homeschooling mom!
I took a year to research and pray regarding homeschooling. Carefully researching my curriculum choices, subscribing to magazines, surfing the web for research articles regarding homeschooling. I ate slept and breathed homeschooling. I ordered my curriculum with gusto and opened it with as much anticipation as I used to open Christmas presents as a child. I organized shelves and cabinets. I sent in my letter to my daughters school letting them know she would not be returning. I daydreamed about the relaxed mornings we will have soon once school is over and the hectic morning schedule is over. Then something funny began to happen. I started crying. Not just a little nostalgia of all the friends we have made at my daughters school, but I mean sobbing, like a baby! My daughter came home with a book of drawings from her friends saying GOODBYE..... I lost it. A year of research went out the window, a year of prayer gone. All my answers went away and I felt terrified. What was I thinking? I am ripping my child out of this environment for my own satisfaction. How terrible, what kind of crazy person was I? My children looked at me rather puzzled, I am not known for crying. Emily asks "what is wrong?"
I answer "I am just nervous that I made the right decision for you, I love you and I want to do what is best for you". Her reply "Oh good, I can't wait to home school, I am so sick of going to school." Her simple words put back into perspective what I took a year to discover. I am sure we will have many terrifying moments along the way, but God directs our paths and when we are in step with God, we are going the right way.